Times have Changed

It was a pleasant evening. The sun was winding up its day’s work. There was cool breeze blowing. And there was something new in the neighbourhood: a cricket match with live commentary.

“It was a good ball. The ball just missed the stumps.”

“Bowler Anjum Chopra is taking her run up from the field end. Her run up is smooth and here she comes with a fiery look in her eyes.”

“What a shot! What a shot! Amit you will have to accept that this is the best shot of the day. ”

“I completely agree with you. Kalpana had hit the ball with an élan. Just notice the distance it has traveled.”

There were grumbling sounds among the players. The batswoman minced no words when she threatened me of the consequences. “Shanu, if do not stop this I will kill you.”

I laughed at this instance of warning as I have laughed at all the previous threats. I was in no mood to give up this fun. My friend laughed too. I was sitting on the terrace of my friend’s house living the role of a professional commentator in style. Commentary was not my regular engagement during the evenings. I used to play cricket as almost the entire generation of Indian kids at that time. The only reason we were enjoying our stint that day was because the field was off limits due to certain function to be organized in the late night. There was an understanding between the kids and the teenagers in the colony. Boys generally played in the field during the evening as cricket requires space while girls were content with their unchallenged authority on the streets. So when the field was off limits to us the girls were enjoying their game. And I along with my friend was enjoying the commentary.

“Why don’t you go at some other place and play?”

“I don’t have any other thing to do. Field is occupied and more than half of my group is busy preparing for their examinations.” I expressed my helplessness.

They started playing again and we started commenting on how they were playing. Well it was fun as they were not very good at cricket and we have witnessed some of the worst batting and bowling of our lifetime. Obviously they were pissed off by the satirical comments made by us. So after 10 more minutes there was another protest.

“Why don’t you leave us alone?”

“I can’t. I’m having fun.”

“Shanu, please.” One of my very dear friends pleaded.

“I can’t.”

“If you are so bored then join us but please don’t comment.”

“I don’t play with girls.” It was an arrogant reply. Well it was not entirely true. A couple of years back we used to play almost everything together. Even at that time during power cuts we used to play hide and seek together. So there was something left in that sentence. I should have said “I don’t play cricket with girls.”

Well they knew that at that time I could not be tamed by them. So they asked for help.

“Aunty! Aunty! Look Shanu and Amit are disturbing us and not allowing us to play.”

My friend shifted uncomfortably. I passed an assuring smile to my friend. Aunty had not responded to any of their earlier pleas that day and I was confident that she would allow us to have a bit more fun. Anyways they had another 30-45 minutes at their disposal till their parents started calling them up for the studies. I was so wrong. Aunty came and asked us not to disturb them.

“But Aunty, we are not disturbing them. We are just doing our job as commentators.”

“Don’t do that then. They are not feeling comfortable.”

My friend was too petrified to speak and so I had to handle all the talking.

“Aunty, we do not have anything to do now. That is the reason we are doing this.”

“Go for a walk or better watch TV. I know that you are a TV maniac.”

“Please Aunty. I will not pass any other targeted comments. Pakka.”

“So you accept that what you were doing is wrong.”

“No. I have done nothing wrong.” And the next few sentences were where I now think I committed mistake. “I think they are not playing well. I think girls should not play cricket. It is not their cup of tea.”

I did not even realize when I was pulled up by ears and taken to my mother. While traversing the distance aunty kept on playing a mix of scolding, preaching and intimidation. I did not speak a word. I knew that I have made some mistake somewhere. My mother did not speak to me and asked aunty why not she slapped me. I was amazed. Aunty said that she did not because she wanted me to realize the mistake and that could only be done in front of my mother. I did not talk to my mother for another hour. When I finally calmed I went to her.

“I do not understand. You asked aunty why she did not hit me.”

“I did because I wanted her to stop you from doing mistakes whenever she finds out about it. I may always not know what you are doing.” She caressed my hair.

“What was my mistake?”

“Making fun of others is not good. It is even bad when you use any discrimination to judge people’s abilities. I have always told you that every human being is equal and you should not judge them on the basis of gender, religion or community.” She went on cajoling me by telling lot of stories.

Why did I tell you this? This was some 10-12 years back. Switch to the present. I was at one of my relatives place few months back. Their son came from play with teary eyes. His mother asked for the reason. He explained that he was scolded by the father of one of his friends.

“Why are you crying? You should have responded to him. You are not a weak guy.” His father told him.

I asked the father whether it is not wrong to ask a kid to talk to an elder like that.

“He is like that only. He needs to be treated in similar manner. How dare he treat my son like that.” He again addressed his son “If he does it again, come straight to me or your mother. We’ll handle this.”

I asked the mother if they realize that they might be taking the matter too seriously.

“You do not understand. He is my son. No one else has a right to scold him. If he has created any problem they should come and talk to me. They should not go on harassing my son.”

I reminded her that this was not the way we grew up.

“Times have changed.”

Indeed times have changed. A decade earlier my neighbour had the guts to scold me in front of my mother for the mistake I have done and my mother had the strength to ask her to hit me if I was found doing mistakes again. Today people are losing that spirit. Now parents have put such exclusive rights on their children that it is becoming increasingly difficult to provide a just advice to someone else’s child.