Banku and Bhootnath

Authorspeak: I was going through my old files when I came across this one. I had written it long back when I saw ‘Bhootnath’ and happily forgot about it. Thus, unfortunately it never saw the Blogworld. This post has taken few potshots on some of the best people I have been with and I know that they won't mind this narration. Now that I am a little busy to write anything of significance this may act as filler. I do not know whether I will ever continue with the narration though.

Year 2060:

Banku and Bhootnath are sitting on a rooftop staring at the beautiful sky. The vast expanse of sky has them captivated when suddenly Banku is bugged by a childish curiosity.

Banku: “Bhootnath, tell me how these stars are formed?”

Bhootnath: (Obviously forgetting the reasons behind the formation of stars, fumbled to reply. You can not blame him. He is dead for 30 years and has not opened books since then. And tell me how many living people have any idea of the scientific reasons? And he has that metaphysical knowledge. Who knows may be whatever he tells is right. If that be true I will surely go hunting for my science teachers) “Well, I suppose ……… when people die they go to heaven and become stars.”

Banku: “Then why are you not a star? You are dead for many years.”

Bhootnath: “Well, I died but was not given permission to enter the heaven. There was some official delay in the processing of my deportation document. Oh no! It was the Visa document and hence I had to stay here. Last informed they had lost my documents during the digitization phase. I have applied many times since then but since my originals were lost I have been kept waiting. I am trying my way through though by influencing the decisions of a very big immigration officer.”

Banku: “So you are trying to bribe the officer.”

Bhootnath: “No way yaar. I am just pushing the regulation envelope a bit.”

Banku: “Achcha, tell me, is my grandpa among the stars?”

Bhootnath: “He’s there. I met him at the gates of heaven while standing in the line of Visa applicants. He was out on a ride. He said he is in a very good health.”

Banku: “Do you know where he is in this vast sky?”

Bhootnath: “He is the brightest star in the sky. See there.”

Happy that his grandpa is shining brilliantly in the sky, Banku started singing a song. Bhootnath sings along. Suddenly Banku is mesmerized by a constellation in the sky. 7 stars forming a shape F.

Banku: “Bhootnath who are they?”

Bhootnath: “Them? They are the most famous set of friends who have lived together ever. When they died God allowed them to cluster together and they decided to take the shape of F.”

Banku: “Why F?”

Bhootnath: “Well there are many theories circulating in the media and philosophers have tried to figure out the possible connection. They never came out with any clarification in the celestial world also. One possible explanation is that they chose this to signify their friendship. For other explanations you are not old enough to hear. You will come to know when you grow up.”

Banku: “Please tell me. You outdated people always think that we kids do not know anything. We know everything. And definitely we know that a child does not come to this world gift wrapped to the parents. So you know what I mean. And if you tell me then I will ask my momma to cook Aloo-parantha which you like very much.”

Bhootnath: “Well in that case I guess some concessions can be made. But you will have to read between the lines.”

Banku: “OK”

Bhootnath: “Well some say that they formed F to say the world F#&* You. Some other believes that their passion for French beauties made them do so.”

Banku: “Well such simple stuffs and you were making such hue and cry about it.”

Bhootnath: “In our times children were not supposed to be exposed to such languages.”

Banku: “Achcha tell me something about them.”

Bhootnath: “Well they were all special and unique. So let me give you a brief intro.

That slightly bright star is the Raka the rock. People also know him by the name Hip-oh!”

Banku: “Was he so hip?”

Bhootnath: “That is controversial. Some say he was. Some say it’s a version of hippo. You know what I mean. Well to continue he was a master in his own game. He was supposedly huge and loved to bully people. What he did was to formalize a theory regarding the per capita alcohol consumption and its relation to the economic growth of the country. He received Noble prize for economics soon after.”

Banku: “What about that sulking star?”

Bhootnath: “Well he is Shanu the cribber. He could crib on anything. He was named Rondlu by his friends. A technocrat, he discovered the way which led to the extinction of mosquitoes and flies from the planet earth. Well I said discovered because it was his pungent body odour which did that after he realized the potential. He went on making huge profits out of his perspiration.”

Banku: “Did he smell that oddly?”

Bhootnath: “According to legends no one ever went close to him. The shanindex you have for body odour is named after him. Moving on to that slightly elongated star. He is Rahul. Friends used to call him Mama.”

Banku: “Mama?”

Bhootnath: “In those days one who helped others without being asked were named Mama. So he went on helping others. He even helped his opponent team in winning matches by throwing as many as 15 wides in a single over. He went to become stud. He grew his hairs and packaged himself with much muscle to create a persona envious of others. He became the first actor to win Oscars from our country in the movie Y’eh world hai na world’. All time classic I should say. ”

“Banku. Banku. Come down. It’s bed time.” Came the voice of Banku’s mother.

Banku: “Tell me quickly about the rest. I have to go.”

Bhootnath: “Go. We will talk about them in the next meeting.”

Banku looked dejected but had to go.

If you want to read the story of other stars then I think you are brave enough……. :)