Dil Chhata Hai

Author Speak: The credit to the title goes to my colleague and friend Sayan. Also, let me warn you at the very beginning that things can go horribly wrong in this small piece of ‘art’ – after all this is my first attempt to narrate a tale of love. The narration is based on real events with suitable changes to cater to the tastes of targeted audience.

It is amazing what nature can do to the feelings and emotions of people. And weather plays an important role in this ‘buzzing business’ of nature. Cinema (especially Indian cinema) has exploited this particular aspect of nature very well. Thus there is a thunderstorm with lightening in the background when the hero is angry (or for that matter when Bhisma is taking his ‘famous’ oath) and dark clouds generally refers to something bad which is going to occur (Hollywood has mastered this art with its Sci-fi movies) and sunlight coming out amidst cloud shows ray of hope. Also a winter (with snowy weather) generally refers to the hardship in life and please do not give me a bunch of list of Christmas capers or Harry Potter movies to negate my point. Have you ever noticed that most of the medieval period war scenes (remember King Arthur or the first battle in Gladiator or even Last Samurai) are shot in the absence of proper sunlight? (Well, an excuse may be that most of them shown in cinema are based out of Europe and the climatic conditions out there justify the use of that kind of weather). Similarly rain (especially in Indian Cinema) is generally related to romance (Remember all those ‘Sawan’ songs) and I am not talking of intense rains (which sometimes is a depiction of intense passion or pain and at others a metaphor of someone’s, which is usually God, wrath).

If the first paragraph doesn’t seem to indicate anything remotely resembling my claims in the Author Speak then it has something to do with my naivety as a writer in handling the subject matter (to my defense I used the word romance once in the first paragraph). However, I was trying to prepare a stage for things to follow.

Scene 1: A bored guy with crew-cut hair (actually it appears more like rat-ate hair) looks away from his computer and calls out to a guy sitting in his next cubicle: “Rahul. It’s almost lunch time. Where do you plan to eat?”

The frame moves to a balding mid-20 guy (played by yours truly). He looks out of the window and replies, “It’s still raining. It seems I’ll have to eat here only. Oh God! I hate this canteen food.”

Ankur (the first guy) stands from his seat and says: “You always eat outside and today you plan to eat here. If I were you I would go out and have some hot pakodas. Just take a look at the weather. It is perfect for having pakodas. And it is not raining: it’s just a drizzle.”

Rahul flashes a big smile: “Well, if it’s pakodas then I can reconsider and call this rain a drizzle. After all, it is part of our job to make interpretations as per our convenience.”

Ankur smiles in return: “Chalo, let’s go then.”

Scene 2: Camera sweeps the office and captures the buzz of a modern day office belonging to Indian Service Industry (read: Some guys typing hard on their computers, some playing games, others standing in front of some cubicle chatting) and then camera closes in on a handsome dude working with dedication on his computer. He is the protagonist of the movie. And then he is hit by somebody on the back of his head (the part which Nana Patekar immortalized in Krantiveer as ‘Chhota Dimag’). As the stunned protagonist turns around Rahul says: “Chal Khane (Let’s go to eat).”

Protagonist: “Where?”

Rahul: “To eat pakodas in Camac Street.”

Protagonist: “No yaar. You go. It’s raining and I have lots of work here. I will eat in the canteen.”

Rahul and Ankur show disappointment and Ankur steps in to persuade. Camera focuses on Ankur’s facial muscles as he puts forth his point.

Ankur: “Are Arun (In keeping the tradition of sensationalism alive we have changed the name of protagonist.) yaar. It’s not raining. It is a drizzle and Rahul has umbrella with him. You have umbrella na?” he turns towards Rahul. Rahul only nods.

Arun: “We are three and he has only one umbrella. And to tell you the truth I don’t feel hungry.”

Rahul: “Don’t worry about the umbrellas. We will take it from uncle.”

Arun: “Uncle who?”

Rahul: “Fhravan. And we are going to eat pakodas. They can easily fit in any corner of the stomach.”

Ankur: “Are, we are not talking of your tummy. Usme to naa jaane kya kya at jaaye. What is your waist size now?”

Rahul: “Leave that matter. I am trying my best to reduce it.”

Arun: “Achcha. What have you done till now?”

Rahul: “I have made up my mind to join gym.”

Ankur: “Kool. Ab khane chale”

As they are leaving a happy go lucky guy asks them: “Where are you guys going? (Followed by a strange laugh)”

Arun: “We are going to eat pakodas. Tub hi aa jaa Sayan.”

Sayan: “Are no. I just had my lunch. Plus, it’s raining outside.”

Ankur: “It’s not raining. It’s just… (Ankur is silenced by a small tap on his shoulder by Rahul).” (He realizes that he is repeating himself and says ‘oops’ in almost a whisper).

Sayan: “If you guys are going, please bring some pakodas for me too - Especially the ones with onions and brinjals. (It is followed by the same strange laugh)”

Scene 3: Camera captures the breathtaking view of the city of Calcutta (Kolkata for traditionalists) in rain. The city already known for slow pace has fallen in love with rain and has come to an absolute halt romancing with the rain. The three guys are shown moving on a footpath with umbrellas. Rahul is carrying his umbrella under which Arun is unable to take shelter because of Rahul’s diminutive but ‘broad’ figure. Camera zooms in to capture the discomfort on his face. He finally offers to carry the umbrella and Rahul readily gives his umbrella to him.

Scene 4: Camera aesthetically captures the life on pavements of Calcutta (especially keeping in mind the foreign audience who love to watch this aspect of India. Plus, if the movie goes in the festival/award circuit, this scene would ensure a favourable response from the jury). It’s still ‘drizzling’. The three friends are shown munching pakodas.

Ankur (while eating): “Dada, what is the cost of each pakodas?”

Pakoda Seller: “Every pakoda at Rs. 2.”

Ankur: “Kool. In our Delhi, it is much costlier.” Rahul and Arun appreciate the fact and it is reflected by their facial expressions. Rahul wants to speak something but then thinks otherwise and remains quiet. Ankur speaks after a brief pause: “Dada, do one thing. Give me two more Aloo pakodas, two Onion pakodas and two Brinjal pakodas.”

Arun: “Pakodas are good and hot.” Rahul nods. Ankur continues: “Dada, give me two more Aloo pakodas.”

Rahul who is concerned about his ever increasing waist line hesitates at first and then give in to the temptation and says: “Dada, give two Aloo pakodas to me too.”

The camera moves away from them and captures the slow moving traffic on Camac Street. It lingers on an urchin begging from the ‘Indian Sahibs’ and ‘Gora Sahibs’ alike. It then moves on to capture a beautiful lady sitting in a cab and then suddenly turns 180 degree to capture the three protagonists admiring her ‘beauty’. As they find camera focusing on them they start looking elsewhere (After all they are decent guys).

Rahul: “We have to get some pakodas packed for Sayan.”

Arun: “Take some more. May be others too would want to taste them.”

Rahul: “Okay.”

As the Pakoda seller packs the pakodas Ankur bids adieu to his role with his final lines in the film.

Ankur: “Yaar. I have to go to Vodafone store and then to the Nokia dealer. Please pay for me. I’ll give it to you once I return.”

Rahul and Arun say in unison: “OK. No problem.”

Scene 5: Rahul and Arun are coming back towards the office. Arun is still carrying Rahul’s umbrella.

Rahul: “Yaar. I’m still hungry. Let us eat something else.”

Arun: “We just ate so many pakodas. Still you are hungry. This is the reason you are becoming a balloon.”

Rahul (with a chuckle): “Are I told you na I have made up my mind to join a gym. I’ll not become a balloon. Just tell me what we shall eat. Momos will do for you?”

Arun: “Momos are fine.”

As they reach to Momo Shop they found it closed. Disappointment is written all over their faces. Rahul tries to effuse some positive energy: “I know a poori-sabzi shop nearby. We’ll go there and eat.”

Arun follows Rahul to the Poori-Sabzi Shop. They found Kunal there.

Kunal (A colleague and playing a cameo is a lean-mean- thin machine with the only exception of a bulging tummy): “What are you guys doing here?”

Arun: “Silly Question. We are here to eat just as you are.”

Rahul (With a grin): “Actually we wanted to have something light and that’s why we came here. We already have a round of pakodas.”

Kunal: “Poori-Sabzi and light. Mote, now I know why you are ‘expanding’.”

Rahul: “At least no one can say that I am not from a ‘Khate-peeta ghar’.”

They all have a hearty laugh (It looks forced in the screenplay but as I said it is inspired by true events).

Kunal: “What’s in that pack?”

Arun: “Pakodas. You want to have some.”

Kunal: “Of course I do.”

As Arun fumbles with the pack to take out the pakodas, the camera moves away to sky to capture the dark clouds and ‘drizzle’.

Scene 6: The three characters are trying to fit in under an umbrella. They are not entirely successful in shielding themselves from the ‘drizzle’. However, it is Arun who is in the center (being the bearer of the umbrella) and Rain God has exempted him from the misery of being drenched by the ‘drizzle’ (lucky one). The camera captures this from a distance (rear view) and then moves in till we can hear their conversation.

Rahul: “How the hell you are not carrying an umbrella? You were out in rain without an umbrella.” He was obviously referring to Kunal.

Kunal: “Are since that shop is not far I thought I would manage without an umbrella. Further Anand was going in that direction only and had an umbrella. I accompanied him.”

Rahul: “Nice thinking and now we are drenched. I wonder what you would have done had you become the CM of this state.”

Arun: “Nothing worse. This state is not run by anyone saner.”

They all have a hearty laugh. They are entering the office premises. The camera still is capturing them from backside and then with a flash of light (Work of the editor) the angle changes and the camera captures them from front. It zooms out and captures them with a dark background of unruly clouds and heavy rains. Suddenly the frame freezes and amidst the dark clouds comes sunlight (Work of CGI) and from the three frozen characters comes out a Knight (in shining armor) riding a horse. We can hear a female voice crying for help. The knight on hearing the ‘SOS Call’ turns his horse and rides towards its source.

The female voice (We still can’t see her): “Oh my knight. Thou have come.”

The knight removes his helmet. We can see the face of Arun as he says: “Yes my dear lady.” We can hear a distant violin (playing ‘Chand mera dil’). The frame freezes and then cracks (CGI effect) with a female voice in the background: “Excuse Me. Excuse Me”

The three guys turn around. They find the lady (The heroine of this movie) who was responsible for those ‘Excuse Me’(s). She started talking to Arun who was still carrying that umbrella.

Heroine: “You sit in the 2^nd floor na?”

Arun (Shyly): “No. I work on 9^th floor.”

Heroine (with a heartwarming smile): “Are wohi. Can I borrow your umbrella? I’ll return it to you.”

Arun: “What?”

Heroine: “Can I borrow your chhata (umbrella in Hindi)? I’ll return it to you.”

Arun: “Oh.” His hand involuntarily initiated actions to fulfill the lady’s wish when the frame melts (again CGI) to another frame in which we find Arun and the Heroine under an umbrella amidst heavy rain with ‘Pyaar Hua Ekrar Hua’ being played in the background. As we are shown the ‘winning smile’ on Arun’ face and the shyness on the Heroine’s face the background score fizzles out. The hand carrying umbrella suddenly comes to a halt and Arun looks at Rahul: “Actually, it is his umbrella.” He says to the Heroine.

Heroine: “Is it yours?”

Rahul (happy at the event of being addressed by the Heroine flashes his stupid smile showcasing his shiny yellow teeth) only nods his head in ‘Yes’.

Arun: “Shall I give it to her?”

Rahul is in dilemma. He doesn’t know the girl and would not want to lose possession of his umbrella on a rainy day. He looks at the face of Arun who almost telepathically asks him to say a Yes. Rahul only nods his head in yet again ‘Yes’. There is grateful look in Arun’s eyes as the frame freezes again. In the background we hear the soundtrack of ‘Yarana’ – ‘Tere Jaisa Yaar Kahan. Kahan Aisa Yarana’. The frame comes back to life and camera closes in on Arun’s and Heroine’s hand as the exchange takes place. In the meanwhile the Heroine asks: “What’s your name?” the question is apparently directed to Rahul but Arun hijacks the response and says: “Arun”. There is a look of betrayal in Rahul’s eyes and we can hear the background score of ‘Dost Dost na Raha’. Suddenly (background score stops) camera focuses on the hands of Arun and the Heroine as they part ways with the Chhata (Umbrella) in between. The camera slow-mo the entire scene as we hear yet again background score of ‘Suraj Hua Madhyam’ (I know I am stretching this background score thing a lot but please remember that this is the most important sequence – the first meeting of Hero and Heroine). The camera closes in on the ‘longing’ face of Arun.

Scene 7: The trio in inside the office space on 9^th floor with Rahul and Kunal nudging Arun and passing knowing smiles. Arun shyly tries to move ahead when they encounter Sayan. Rahul hands over the pack of pakodas to him.

Sayan: “You actually brought the pakodas for me. (Again followed by the same strange laugh)”

Rahul: “Yes we did.”

Kunal: “You know what happened today. Arun…” His voice trails as Arun moves ahead and camera follows him as he sits at his place and pretends to work.

Scene 8: Rahul, Kunal, Sayan and Ritwik (A cameo by Ritwik who does not have a dialogue in the film. The scriptwriter expresses his helplessness to him for this) are talking. Suddenly Rahul notices the Heroine carrying his umbrella coming towards their bay.

Rahul (excitedly): “She has come. I’ll get my precious K.C. Pal’s umbrella”. The group understands his feelings. He has been worrying a lot about his umbrella in their discussion. However, the Heroine goes past the group to Arun’s cubicle and keeps the umbrella on his desk.

Heroine: “Thank you.” Arun passes a smile and nods shyly.

As the Heroine turns to leave she caresses Arun’s shoulder and whispers: “Thank you again for your Chhata.” Camera captures the parting of Heroine’s hand from Arun’s shoulder and then moves to his face which is radiating & is ultra bright. As he flashes his ‘famous’ smile, the camera freezes. ‘Dil Chhata Hai’ starts playing in the background as the end title rolls.

End Title: Arun comes to Rahul’s place and says: “Yaar it’s still raining. Can I borrow your Chhata?”

Rahul: “Yes you can. But you are in the queue. There is Sayan, Ankur, Ritwik, Kunal, Fhravan, Anand, Gopal and many more. Further now I charge a fee of Rs. 20 per hour for it.”

As the end title comes to an end we are shown many couples coming out of that office under umbrellas (Chhatas).

P.S: This post is a ‘trash’ and if it hurts the sensitivity of someone then please note that it was not intentional. Further the length is also an issue: I never intended it to be so long but it seems that I have been hit by the ‘Ashutosh Gowarikar Syndrome’.

Also this is my 50^th post. It took me almost three and half years to reach this milestone.